These days, even innocent phrases uttered by HR can make employees jumpy.

So, courtesy of buzzwhack.com, here are the Top 10 things nervous employees don’t want to hear right now:

1. “Can I see you in the conference room?” Just as bad: “Can we talk?” and “Gotta minute?” In all cases, initiating contact with a tap on the shoulder makes things even worse.
2. “Isn’t your performance review coming up soon?” Particularly if it isn’t due for another two months.
3. “We don’t look at this as a problem – but as an opportunity.” Generally delivered with an insincere Pollyanna-ish lilt.
4. “I’ve always thought of us as family around here, but … ” Given the choice of laying off you or his mother, guess which he will choose?
5. “You’re a great contributor, but … “ A compliment followed by a “but” is never a good thing.
6. “Maintaining the status quo is no longer an option.” Generally, the next sentence contains really bad news for someone.
7. “We’re going to refocus and concentrate on our core business.” That generally means refocusing on the business the company was in before it hired you.
8. “We’re not planning to have layoffs, but there will be some restructuring.” Hmmmmm.
9. “Due to the ongoing turmoil in the capital markets …” Any sentence that has “turmoil” and “capital” in it can’t be good.
10. “They’ve asked everyone to come to the Employee Appreciation Room for a 4 p.m. meeting.”

Do you have your own suggestions for this list? Make your nominations in the Comments Box below.

El Paso County Clerk and Recorder Bob Balink’s staff stopped answering their phones after a layoff of 19 employees.

Voice messages on the clerk’s phones now refer people to the assessor’s and treasurer’s phone lines, according to The Gazette.

It would have been nice if Balink informed the other two offices of what he was doing, but he didn’t.

Treasurer Sandra Damron says her employees have been slammed with calls.

The Gazette tracked what one person seeking help from the clerk’s office had to go through.

An elderly man who couldn’t get the information he needed called the Area Agency on Aging. They e-mailed the assessor’s office, asking him to get a message to Balink to call the man.

What does Balink have to say about all this? Take a guess.

The Gazette says he couldn’t be reached for comment.

A wire service was able to contact Balink, and he denies telling any of his employees to stop answering the phone.

California government has asked more than 200,000 state workers to stay home two Fridays a month in an effort to save $1.3 billion in the next 18 months.

Among the government agencies forced to close on some Fridays: the Department of Motor Vehicles and the Department of Consumer Affairs.

Others, such as fire stations and employment centers will stay open.

The furloughs will reduce the average state worker’s salary by 9.2%. The state has a $42 billion budget shortfall.

And perhaps the furloughed workers can help pump up California’s economy by taking advantage of some special deals. Squaw Valley ski resort was offering $49 off of lift tickets on furlough days to state employees who show a valid government ID card or a recent pay stub. State employees can ski or snowboard every Friday for the rest of the season for $20 at Boreal ski resort.

Gannett Co. Inc., the largest newspaper publisher in the U.S., is requiring its workers to take a week off without pay before the end of the first quarter.

The company had already cut thousands of employees from its payroll to deal with a severe decline in advertising revenue.

It employs about 40,000 workers. Unions have said they support the company’s decision, but it’s up to each local to decide whether to OK the furlough program.

Gannett expects its 2008 revenue to be down about 8% from 2007.

It owns USA Today, the largest U.S. newspaper by circulation, 85 daily newspapers and 23 TV stations.

Levine had been producing a series on National Public Radio (NPR) since early December called, “American Moxie: How We Get By.”

The series focused on how Americans have been handling economic pressure.

One example: An Illinois farmer who had to sell some of his cows.

Midway through her series, Levine obtained a first-hand view of how Americans are dealing with tough economic times: She was part of a 64-employee lay-off at NPR.

Levine then pitched the idea that the final segment of her series should be about her own situation.

At first, her boss wasn’t keen on the idea but eventually came to like it.

The final report (click here and then scroll down) about Levine’s own situation ran in late December.

Levine views what happened to her as an opportunity. “Every story that we all do, we’re always looking for the perfect ending,” she told The New York Times. “And suddenly it was handed to me. It was not one of my choosing, but as a storyteller, what could make a better story?”

At WCCO radio in Minneapolis, management has asked its highest paid on-air talent to take a 10% pay cut to limit the number of employees who would be laid off, according to MinnPost.com.

Afternoon host Don Shelby says he accepted the voluntary pay cut. CBS Radio Minneapolis market manager Mary Niemeyer confirmed that the offer was presented to other employees, but she wouldn’t say how many others accepted the voluntary pay reduction.

The station did announce it had to lay off two news reporters, one full-time, one part-time.

Also in Minneapolis-St. Paul metropolitan area, the newspaper, the Pioneer Press, has offered this cost-cutting opportunity to employees: They can take up to six months of unpaid leave in 2009 and return to their same job. The newspaper did something similar in 2001 and 2002.

Mike Bucsko, executive director of the Newspaper Guild, the union representing reporters and some other employees at the paper, said it might be better for some people to consider the offer rather than face other drastic cost-cutting measures.

What do you think of these alternatives to layoffs? Let us know in the Comments Box below.

Gawker asked its readers to send stories about firings that were handled badly.

Among recent submissions:

• The employee who was told by a relative who worked at the same company that she was laid off
• A worker who found a document regarding her dismissal before she was notified, and
• The HR rep who was let go the day after organizing all the paperwork for exit packages for other employees.

You can read more here.

Know a story about layoffs that were handled poorly? Let us know about them in the Comments Box below.

A mall in McLean, VA, did just that. But don’t worry: They hired him back.

Michael Graham had been Santa Claus at the Tysons Corner Center for 18 years.

Recently he received word from the mall that he wouldn’t be asked back this year.

The mall said it canceled its contract with Graham because it decided to work with a new photography company that wanted a different St. Nick.

Graham made $175 as Santa, about 10 times the going rate. However, the photography company said money wasn’t the issue.

It was too late for Graham to find another gig for this year, so he did what any good Santa would do: He sued.

Graham wanted to be reinstated and a down payment that was due Oct. 1.

When the public heard about Graham’s firing, they let their displeasure be known.

Graham’s return may have something to do with the public outcry about his firing. News of the dispute sparked hundreds of calls, an online petition and threats to boycott the mall.

The mall didn’t want to be Scrooge this holiday season. “We are both committed to providing our very special community a most memorable holiday season,” mall spokeswoman Allison Fischer was quoted in a wire service article.

If you ever find, as an HR pro, that you have to send an unfortunate e-mail to senior management about upcoming layoffs, you might want to double, triple and quadruple check the “to” field on the message.

Media agency Carat was struggling and planned a major restructuring of its operations, including layoffs.

Those always awkward conversations with those being let go will be even more awkward because the entire agency received an e-mail regarding the terminations, mistakenly sent by its top HR executive.

And the e-mail didn’t just announce the layoffs; it included PowerPoint and Word documents full of “message” points on how people should be told they’d be out of work.

When the e-mail was sent out my mistake, the IT department pulled it back. But it was apparently too late, because copies were obtained by Advertising Age.

To make matters worse, as is the case too often today, the euphemism “right-sizing” was used in the memos to describe the lay-offs.

Chances are the employees who quickly opened the documents before IT called the e-mail back didn’t consider the possibility of losing their jobs as “right-sized” for them.

There’s no word on one Carat employee’s fate, Chief People Officer Rose Zory, who was responsible for mistakenly sending out the e-mail.

While this is a pretty outrageous e-mail blunder, it won’t be considered the worst one ever having to do with lay-offs. Not long ago, RadioShack dismissed 400 people via e-mail.

Do you have a story about a workplace e-mail blunder, particularly one dealing with HR? Let us know about it by sending us a Comment below.

A subscriber has sued the Raleigh-Durham News & Observer for cutting staff and the size of the newspaper.

Keith Hempstead, a lawyer in Durham, says he renewed his subscription just before the paper announced layoffs of 70 staffers and cuts in news pages.

He says the paper is no longer worth what he signed up for.

Could he just cancel his subscription? Sure, but Hempstead says he’s suing instead to make a point that he thinks it’s wrong for newspapers to cut costs among their news staff.

The paper’s executive editor, John Drescher, says he thinks the papers are still worth more than the 36 cents per day Hempstead is paying for them.

“In fact, he owes me money,” Drescher said. “He can work with my lawyer and figure out how much he’s going to pay me for the excellent coverage he’s been getting recently.”