Incompetence or flatulence? A British tribunal had to decide which one was the real reason a woman was fired from her job.

Maybe we should just blame this one on the lack of privacy in the workplace in the cubicle age.

Used to be you could pass a little gas in private when you had your own office or work area.

But now, breaking wind audibly brings mocking from co-workers.

That’s the situation a female employee of Leeds Metropolitan University in England found herself in.

She claims her fellow workers mocked her continually over her chronic flatulence.

The woman brought suit against her employer, claiming disability and constructive dismissal.

She told an employment tribunal her colleagues would regularly make sniffing noises and bowel jokes while near her.

The university said she was let go after concerns were raised about the quality of her work and frequent absences due to illness.

The tribunal dismissed her suit.

So what are gassy workers to do?

Since this story is from Britain, we consulted the BBC for flatulence etiquette. The broadcast company’s Web site provided the following advice:

• If you are a real gentleman and realize that a lady had some small misfortune then you are supposed to plead guilty in her place and formally excuse yourself.
• Passing wind in a lift (elevator) is strongly advised against. There is no way for the victims to escape or open a window, and revenge may follow immediately.
• If everything else fails and everybody is staring at you, you may try to turn the wrongdoing into an accomplishment: Put on a proud face, declare it as an achievement, and challenge your mates to beat you with an even louder one. But be prepared for a reply along the lines of “Pray for your soul because your body is already rotten.”

And if a worker comes to you for advice on flatulence, it might be a good idea to say, “Let’s take a walk” and get out of your office - and preferably outside the building - before having the discussion.

Tags: flatulence, jokes, lawsuit